Not Gone But Forgotten
by Midnight Mustang
Summary: She was lost and alone, not only in this world, but in her mind. He was the only one willing to go in after her. Now Zuko must face the consequences of the end of a long war.
1. Gone

AN: I own nothing.

This is inspired by a drabble I read a while ago but it is _not_ copying it. It is simply _inspired_ by it.

My first Avatar story, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. The AU part of this story is that Aang is dead. This is also my first AU story, however slightly it actually affects the events of the story except that it couldn't have happened without Aang being dead.

I'm rambling and not even sure that made sense, so on with the story! (Hey, last night I was singing the Beaver Song, so at least I'm being productive now.)

This was originally a oneshot, but it started getting extremely lengthy and it's just better as more than one chapter.

I can probably come up with some excuse for any OOCness, but still, it would be nice to have it pointed out. This thing will probably need intense editing anyway.

Third Person POV

No one knows what happened to her. No one really thought about it much.

There was always something else. Another city needs rebuilding, another person needs condolences, more congratulations had to be accepted.

The one person who would have remembered her, who would have made sure that attention was given to her, was dead and gone. And after a while, those she loved and who loved her thought of her as dead as well.

She was.

At least the part they knew.

They had brought her to the Water Tribe at first. Tried to take of her. But soon it was obvious that she couldn't stay there. Not with all those people. She was tortured every time someone looked at her, spoke to her, was with her.

They took turns visiting her, at least one person a day. They would never stay long, and the visits became shorter and shorter until they never came back.

She didn't notice.

And she never cared.

She was lost. Another casualty of the war that had claimed so many other lives in so many ways. She was injured, not just her body, but her mind.

She left and never came back.

They looked for her at first, but they couldn't search forever, not when there were other matters to attend to.

She didn't mind.

She liked being alone.

She liked her new home. It was quiet. Peaceful. She wasn't bothered here.

Until now.

*****  
The Fire Lord surveyed the lands with an uncaring stare. It was pretty, he thought, but Zuko didn't really care about the prettiness of the landscape.

He was looking for her.

It was embarrassing, actually, that it had taken him this long. Having tracked a one hundred and twelve year old monk with supernatural powers for years, one would think finding a fifteen year old insane girl would be easy.

Obviously he had underestimated her.

Or she was simply too insane to do anything logically. Considering what had happened, that was probably the case.

He was fairly sure he had found her, though. After several months of research and intense questioning, it had taken a casual conversation with a random traveler to find the first hint of her he had had in weeks.

The traveler had mentioned how he passed by a shack in the hills. He said some other people had said that a woman, made insane by the war, lived there.

It had taken a while for Zuko to actually find this place, but he could see why Katara, even as insane as she probably was, would like this place.

There was a river that meandered its way through the hills and valleys, carving out a path that Zuko now followed. He had passed the closest village over an hour ago, and hadn't seen a single traveler besides himself.

He hadn't seen her much before she had disappeared. Somehow he had gotten cut out of the rotation of people that went to see her when she staying with the Water Tribe, probably since they didn't trust him.

He remembered how they had rejected him.

"Look," Sokka had said, "You're obviously not your father. We know that. But now that Aang's gone, there isn't a whole lot stopping you from doing whatever you want with this new power of yours. We know it, and we know you know it, so you're going to have to deal with the fact that we don't trust you."

It could have been said with more tact, but this was Sokka, and Zuko was thankful for his honesty.

Now he shocked himself by going after a woman driven insane by his own people's actions.

But it had to be done.

And it looked like he was the only one who was actually going to do it.

Sokka had gone back to his village and lived there happily, though he often traveled to talk to many people around the four nations who were looking to record the war and its events. His girlfriend Suki came sometimes, too.

Toph went back to her parents, and then left again not long after to travel as well. Zuko had heard rumors that she had joined with Sokka, but since he hadn't seen any of them in months, he didn't know what was rumor and what was fact.

And Aang was dead. Gone. Had his life drained by the energy it took to strip Ozai of his powers. He was hailed as the fallen savior, the hero. His body had been buried at the Air Temple where he had been raised one hundred years ago.

Zuko supposed that meant that there was a new Avatar out there somewhere, but he would climb that hurdle when he got there.

For now, he had a mission.

Find the one member of the group that didn't get what she deserved.

The rest were happy, or so he assumed. They had company, and weren't being tortured or killed, so it wasn't like they had any reason not to be happy.

But Katara. . . She was hurt. Well, they all had had at least scrapes and bruises, and she had the ability to heal herself, so he wasn't worried about that.

But she wasn't right in the head. He remembered those firsts few days after the battle.

She had seemed normal. Or at least as normal as a grief-stricken person can be. She spent most of her time in her temporary room in the Fire Nation Palace where they were all staying until they could figure out where to go from there. They heard crying coming from there, which was to be expected. She had just lost her best friend.

But then she never came out. They had to leave food for her, and she never made eye contact, never talked except for a small thank you. That was it.

They had to practically carry her out to start the journey back to the Water Tribe where she and Sokka had called home before meeting the Avatar. She was screeching and fighting to get away. Her brother's eyes were sad and full of pity for the insane person his sister had become.

The last Zuko had heard she had vanished and no one had found her yet.

Until now.

*****

It took Zuko about another half hour of travel on his rhino before he came to the round hut. It was small, and backed up to the hillside. It looked like it was held together by mud and had a roof of reeds and branches from the river and the forest on the other side of the river.

Zuko realized she had probably built it herself.

The door was a sheet of reeds hung in a gap wide enough for two people to squeeze through. As Zuko dismounted the rhino and walked over he wondered how he was supposed to knock on a door that would probably fall down if he touched it. He settled for calling out her name.

"Katara?" he called. There was no response except for some shuffling from within.

"Katara?" he called again. The shuffling stopped. He pushed some reeds carefully aside and stuck his head in. "Katar- Hey!"

Only his reflexes saved him from getting a large piece of wood in the head. He grabbed her wrist that held the thick, makeshift club over his head and brought it down between their faces. He gently pried it out of her fingers with his other hand and let it drop to the ground. Then, he looked at her.

Her hair was wild, like she hadn't brushed since escaping the Southern Water Tribe months ago. Her face, at the moment, was the same as it had been last time he had seen her, though the expression was different. She had the confused expression of a small child, and her eyes held fear. Her clothes were tattered, like they hadn't been washed in a while.

She was a wreck.

"Katara?" he said gently. "It's Zuko."

"Let go!" Her voice was scared and frightened.

"Katara, relax. I wouldn't hurt you. You know that."

"I said, let go!" Zuko heard less of a frightened tone and more of an angry one. Remembering what she could do when she was angry and _sane_, the idea of her angry and _insane_ was enough to make him acquiesce and drop her wrist.

She took a step back, and for the first time, Zuko got to look at the hut that she called home.

The walls were lined with shelves that look like they were made out of branches stuck in the mud wall. There was a stump that grew to the side of the hut that looked like it had been there long before the hut had. She must have built her house around the stump. There looked like there was a pit in the center for a fire and a mat of reeds lay next to it.

The shelves were lined with jars and glasses, all full of water. Zuko didn't know where Katara had gotten them from, but there were probably at least fifty. They were a testament to how truly and deeply disturbed she was.

"Who are you?" she said. "And what do you want?"

"Katara, it's Zuko. Remember? I traveled with you, you helped me fight my insane sister."

The look on her face said blatantly that she did not remember. Zuko felt a surge of pity. This girl had been driven mad. Absolutely mad. More than he had thought.

She looked like his sister had after being defeated. By her.

But she looked even more pissed.

Which did not bode well for Zuko's life expectancy.

The water rattled in the jars, which proved that she still had the ability to do some serious damage. The insanity didn't take her ability to bend.

Which she proved when she used the water to blast Zuko out the reed door into his rhino. When his vision cleared, she was standing at the door, holding an easily defendable position and waiting for an attack.

As he made an attempt to stand up, he found himself frozen to a very pissed rhino. As he quickly defrosted himself, he saw that Katara had barely moved. She was waiting for him to attack, which he wouldn't. He was trying to convince her to trust him and somehow shooting a fireball at her didn't seem like the best way. Didn't he learn that years ago?

This time he saw the whip of water coming toward him and stopped it with a shield of fire. He cautiously walked toward her, keeping his hands in easy to see places.

"I want to help you," he said carefully.

"I don't need help!" she screeched. He was within three feet of her again.

"Yes, you do." He grabbed her around the waist and slung her over his shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down!" She started beating on his back with her fists. Zuko didn't know if she simply forgot she could bend the water of the river or what, but she didn't use any bending to try and break free.

She was strong, though. Zuko finally set her down on her feet beside the giant rhino. He kept a hold of her shoulders and looked into her face.

"Katara." She flinched from his grip on her shoulders. It was firm, but not tight enough to hurt her. Zuko had a feeling it wasn't the grip, but the contact. Zuko remembered the shell she seemed to withdraw into when anyone talked to her before they took her to the Southern Water Tribe. Sokka had told him once that she was crazed when the majority of the Southern Water Tribe tried to talk to her when they arrived.

"Katara, I'm going to let you go. But don't run away. Please. Then we just have to do this all over again. Okay?"

Her eyes were wide with the fear of a trapped animal. She nodded slowly, not blinking or changing her facial expression. Zuko slowly relaxed his fingers. Katara immediately backed up about three steps, relaxing from her scared animal state but bending water to her and holding it in front of her.

"Don't touch me," she said slowly. "Just don't."

"Okay. Got it."

There were a few moments of awkward silence. Katara's water swirled in front of her.

"Look, Katara, you can't live like this."

"You can't tell me what to do! I don't even know you!"

"Yes, you do! I'm your friend. We fought Azula together. We traveled together with everyone else. Toph? Sokka? You remember your brother, right?"

"I have no family. No friends. And I don't know you!" she spat at him. Zuko's eyes widened as he realized how deep the damage really was to her mind.

It was reminiscent of Jet, except Jet simply had amnesia. Katara's mind was not working right. Normal people do not put water in jars then put them on a shelf in a tiny hut they built themselves. It wasn't normal.

She had no clue what happened. No clue of her family, her friends. She didn't know why she was out in the middle of nowhere in a hut but she didn't really think about it either.

"Katara. Er. . . You need to come with me."

"I do not."

"I would like you to come with me."

"Why?" So she couldn't question her own situation of a life in a hut, but she could question his motives. Typical Katara. Some things never change.

"Because I want to help you."

"I told you, I don't need help!"

"Maybe not. But you could use it. It couldn't anything, right? If you want, I'll take you right back here. Anytime. But you have to come with me first. Deal?"

She looked at him critically. "Fine."


	2. Into The Night

AN: I own nothing.

Not a whole bunch happens here, but I really like this chapter and I have big plans for the next chapter. BIG plans, so just wait. So this fic will either be long-ish, really insanely long, or it will only be slightly long before field season starts and I'm reduced to writing as fast as I can on buses on the way to comps again. Joy. ;D

Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to continue this, but since I've had threats against my happiness and sanity in color guard (you know who you are *fake glares*) here's the next chapter. ;D

Third Person POV

It had only taken Zuko a week to find Katara and bring her back. It was amazing what you could do when you had access to decent transportation.

Katara hadn't said anything else since accepting Zuko's offer. She seemed even more withdrawn. She barely ate and couldn't even meet Zuko's eyes. Zuko began to wonder if it was possible to move while in a coma.

By the time they reached the Fire Nation Capital, Zuko began to wonder what the hell he had been thinking.

He had no clue what to do next. He considered sending her to the mental institution where Azula was being taken care of, but later decided that locking Azula and Katara up together was not a good idea, even if Katara apparently had amnesia and Azula was completely insane.

He thought of what he would say to her brother. He couldn't just keep her existence secret, but he couldn't let him take her back to the Southern Water Tribe. Besides, there was no telling what Katara would do if he tried.

He only had one option. Hopefully, he hadn't left yet. But Zuko didn't think Iroh would simply leave the Capital before he came back.

It didn't come as a surprise to Zuko that he found his uncle drinking tea.

It did surprise his uncle that he wasn't alone.

"Hello, Zuko - And Katara?" The last words came out slightly surprised. "Everyone's been looking for you, young lady."

Katara's only response was to meet his eyes for a split second before dropping her gaze once again to the floor.

"Oh, dear," Iroh said. "Still no change, then?"

"Uncle, I need your help."

"You want to know what to do next."

"Yes. . ."

"I don't know." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "She's blocking memories. You could try to force her to remember. But remember that there is a good reason why she blocked those memories. It might do more harm than good to make her remember."

"Do you think someone did this to her, or she did it to herself?" Zuko speculated out loud. "Remember what the Dai Li used to do?"

Iroh shook his head. "She was like this before she left the palace, and a trustworthy person was with her the whole time unless she was in her own room. No, her mind did this to herself."

"Do you think I should even try to help her?"

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "That is your choice."

Zuko was reminded of days and weeks on a ship when his uncle refused to answer his questions in anything except cryptic proverbs. At least he was, at the moment, being slightly more helpful.

"But I think that you shouldn't decide tonight. Both of you get sleep, and decide tomorrow." Iroh hesitated from shooing them out of the room. "But if you want help deciding whether or not to try and bring her memories back, try asking her."

With that Iroh shooed his nephew out of his room, and got back to his tea.

After showing Katara to the room she would be staying in (he was careful to make sure she was in a different one than her last stay at the palace), Zuko took his uncle's advice for once. He went to bed.

Or he tried to at least.

After an hour of staring at the wall, he punched his pillow and grumbled in frustration. Really, it was cruel that after five months after the final battle he _still_ couldn't fall asleep. He felt like he'd tried everything, including some concoction his uncle had made, which he'd spat out promptly and declared that drinking the whole cup would have been worse torture than not sleeping. The only thing he hadn't tried was knocking himself out with a heavy object, but he suspected that wouldn't give him restful enough sleep to be worth the pain.

So he was reduced to lying there, night after night, hoping that sleep would come eventually.

At first he thought it might be because of guilt. After all, he'd done some pretty bad things. He tracked down an innocent monk and the people trying to help him just to restore his own honor, he had put his sister in an insane asylum, he helped take down his own father, and he had let one of the people who, eventually, trusted him with their life as he trusted them with his, become so wrapped up in her own grief she couldn't see the world around her.

He thought by correcting some of those wrongs maybe he could justify the others. Or at least ease the guilt.

He also thought maybe it was because he missed the company he used to have. "Team Avatar", as they called themselves, had been just that: a team. They lived together, ate together, traveled together, and as was the downfall for most of their enemies, fought together.

He considered himself lucky to be a part of that team at one time, but now wondered if it had cursed him to a life of insomnia. He wondered if he would be unable to sleep unless it was around the remains of a fire, on the run from his father and trying to save the world.

If so, he was screwed.

He growled in frustration before finally sitting up, resisting the urge to reduce the bed to cinders. Not entirely sure where he was planning on going, he wrapped a robe around himself before leaving his room.

The entire palace was quiet, which didn't surprise Zuko, and wouldn't have surprised him even if he hadn't done this every night for the past five months. Firebenders loved the sun for the obvious power it gave them; night instilled in them fear of the moon which subtly weakened and, on occasion, rendered them powerless.

It was humbling, and perhaps that was what kept him up at night, Zuko thought. Maybe he needed this wakeup call and his mind was determined not to let him forget it.

But really, five months was a bit much, he told his subconscious. It didn't respond.

He walked outside to the courtyard where there was a fountain. It was elaborate and complex with many layers and tiers-

Wait a second, Zuko thought to himself. That fountain does not have that many tiers. It also doesn't have water flowing up, either.

Cautiously he walked to the other side of the fountain where someone was Waterbending. There was only one Waterbender at the Palace.

Her hair still hadn't been combed out and she still wore the same ratty clothes that she had when he found her in her hut, but she looked calmer. More. . . at peace.

The water swirled in intricate patterns while her hands curved and created arcs, twining and untwining. The effect was hypnotizing.

Zuko found that the more he watched the water, the more they seem to start morphing into almost recognizable shapes before Katara's face would contort and her hands would swiftly change the flow of water into something else, something meaningless, like a swirl or arc.

Zuko took this as his cue to leave after this happened the third time, realizing that he didn't want to be caught watching her.

Then he wondered why. It wasn't like he had done anything wrong. He was perfectly allowed to go walking around the palace anytime he wanted to. It was _his_ palace, after all.

But that didn't ease the feeling of guilt of having intruded on something he shouldn't have seen, and should immediately attempt to erase from his memory.

Needless to say, he still didn't get any sleep that night.


	3. Advice Is Given

AN: I own nothing.

Err. . . Well, this chapter turned out angstier than I thought it would. . . *goes to YouTube and watches the Avatar: The Last Airbender version of Wizard Angst, cracks up, and goes back to writing the next chapter*

Hehe. . . I could watch Zuko yelling "Ron invaded my personal bubble!" a million times. . .

For those that haven't seen that video, I'm sorry for the confusion that last sentence must have caused you. . . And now, read the next chapter, then go look up that video! It's soooooo funny!

Third Person POV

Zuko went back to bed and stayed there for the next six hours before finally falling asleep for exactly five minutes before his uncle pounded on the door for him to come out.

"Zuko, this is important," Iroh said, just loud enough to be easily audible through the thick door. "I'll be in the tea room when you're ready."

He could have edited that last part out, Zuko thought. There wasn't any reason that Iroh wouldn't be in his favorite room in the whole palace, possibly in the world, thought Zuko though that would probably be the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se, which he had left in the hands of "capable tea enthusiasts", as Iroh would put it, while he was in the Fire Nation.

Grumbling the entire time, Zuko practically fell out of bed before righting himself and finding something to wear before meandering through the hallways, not really bothering to watch where he was going.

With Zuko as unfocused as he was, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to him when he almost turned a corner and nearly ran down a tall, slender, detached woman.

His eyes widened in surprise as he awkwardly attempted to stop his forward motion while the woman stood there, staring at him coldly.

"Sorry," he muttered. She gave a slight bow, as was considered proper for someone to do when passing the Fire Lord, and continued on her way.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! He should have known Mai would be in the palace. Whether or not she still had a relationship with anyone of the royal blood, her family was considered noble enough to have business at the palace and to be welcome at any time. His ex-girlfriend or not, he shouldn't have been shocked to see her here. . .

Zuko swore under his breath before walking through the doorway of the tea room.

"You should be careful who you let hear that language, Zuko," his uncle said, entering the room with a large tray with three cups of tea on it. He nodded toward the person sitting on the floor.

Katara accepted her cup of tea and stared into it for several seconds before taking a sip. She looked back down at her cup before glancing up at Zuko.

"You wish you didn't break up with her," she stated, "so why did you in the first place?"

Zuko just stared at her before he found that his jaw seemed to move out of his own accord.

"She broke up with me. She said that we had both changed too much during the war."

Katara looked back down at her tea. "That's stupid."

"I think so, too," Zuko said slowly, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"It's okay if you change, as long as your feelings don't," she said.

Zuko didn't answer that, just stared in disbelief at the fact that Katara was giving him romantic advice. Even when he factored in the insanity, it was hard to wrap his head around.

His uncle just looked at him smugly.

"Sit down, Zuko," Iroh said, "and relax." He took a close look at his nephew and his bloodshot eyes. "How much sleep did you get?"

"About five minutes," Zuko mumbled.

"You know, that sleeping drink really does do wonders-"

"No, no, I'll handle it on my own," Zuko said quickly. He sat down around the table that was set up in the room. Iroh sat next to him.

"Miss Katara, how are you today?" Iroh asked politely. Katara avoided eye contact with everyone.

"Tired," she mumbled.

Zuko felt the one eyebrow he still had furrow in confusion. She was perfectly capable of giving him advice, but didn't like questions about herself.

"I am sorry to hear that," Iroh said. He leaned down conspiratorially. Katara flinched away from his sudden closeness but recovered a bit. "You'll have to excuse my nephew. He gets a bit cranky when he does not get enough sleep."

"I do not!" Zuko protested loudly. Katara flinched even harder at the sudden rise in volume. Zuko made himself calm down. It was too late, though. Katara calmly put down her cup and stood up. She walked out the door while Zuko looked to Iroh for an explanation. Iroh shrugged.

"She is deeply disturbed, Zuko." He held up a teapot. "More tea?"

That night Zuko laid in bed for several hours before finally giving up and wandering out to the courtyard. He wasn't surprised in the least to see Katara manipulating the fountain again. The water danced around the fountain and Zuko sat on a bench, letting the sounds lull him into a peaceful, numb state of mind.

He was alert enough to see Katara's head snap up from her work and glance behind her as if sensing an intruder. She faced in front of her again, and, as fast as she had during battle, she pulled several gallons of water from the fountain and snapped it back out again.

Zuko was shocked to find himself frozen to the bench he had been sitting on, with a rather pissed Katara standing over him.

She said nothing, just glared at him with wild eyes.

Zuko attempted to melt himself free of the ice only to find his hands warmer and that the rest of him was still frozen. He saw that his hands were actually encased by water and that the water was encased by ice. Heating it up did nothing but heat the water. Whatever was messing with her head had done nothing to her fighting ability.

She turned on her heal and stalked off without saying a word.

Zuko sighed before realizing that he was still frozen to the bench. He eventually freed himself by heating the water enough to cause the steam to crack the ice enough to free his hands, then defrosting the rest of himself.

He really needed help.

The next morning Zuko got up with no sleep at all. He looked in the mirror just long enough to glare at the bags under his eyes before leaving his room.

He walked outside to the fountain where Katara had attacked him last night. It returned to its normal flow, happily freely flowing from tier and tier. He sat down on the bench and relaxed.

There wasn't much to do at the Fire Nation Palace at the moment. They didn't have any kind of meeting with any other nations for a few months, and the rest of the Fire Nation was slowly rebuilding itself and removing all the traces of the war.

Zuko had mixed feelings about the recovery from the war. The war had cost every nation countless lives. Yet his entire life had been centered around the war. He was supposed to help bring about a victory (for who he wouldn't find out until later) and then he was supposed to live happily ever after as Fire Lord.

Now he was finding out that happily ever after sucked.

Sokka and Toph, the closest true friends he ever had, didn't trust him. Aang, his Firebending trainee and the only person Zuko would think of as a little brother, was dead. Mai, his girlfriend who had waited for him since he was banished, broke up with him. Katara, who he wished could have been his sister instead of Azula, who had shown him that second chances have to be earned, and who had saved his life, was driven insane by her own grief.

And he was left the Fire Lord of a broken nation that he almost didn't want to be put back together.

There needs to be some sort of tribute, Zuko thought. Not some mushy ceremony, or a statue, or actually. . . A statue might work, Zuko thought. But it would have to be done by someone that knew the people. . . Who knew Katara, Sokka, Toph, and Aang. . . Knew them alive and sane, happy and full of life, the way they were during the war. . .

Zuko mentally skimmed the list of artisans he knew before dismissing the idea. He'd have to do that later. Right now he needed to work on getting Katara some semblance of sane.

He needed to talk to his uncle.

Who was, not to his surprise, in the tea room.

"Zuko! Would you care for some tea?" Iroh asked.

"No, not now," Zuko said. "Uncle, I need advice. _Real_ advice. No more of this proverbs and cryptic nonsense. What am I supposed to do help Katara?"

"Like I said earlier, Zuko, she's blocking memories that are too painful. Her mind is doing the only thing that it thinks will protect her. The only thing you can do is remove that block. I don't know exactly how you would go about doing that. . . She's so resistant to any kind of contact, doesn't like being talked to unless she addresses the topic first, which she is not going to do. . ."

Zuko sat thoughtfully while Iroh's voice trailed off.

"I watched her Waterbend. Most of the time she just makes arcs and things that don't mean anything, but then I started to recognize something, like a shape, and I think she did too. . . She immediately bent the water a different way."

"Hmm. . ." Iroh sat calmly. "Those memories are definitely still there. . . But, Zuko, let me warn you again, it will be hard for her to go through. You might do more harm than good." Iroh pondered something for a minute. "Speaking of advice, what happened to you and your young lady?"

Zuko, who had just picked up a cup of tea off the table and drank some, choked a little before regaining control and glaring at his uncle.

"We broke up. There's nothing else to it," he said, fighting to keep his composure.

"Our guest seems to think differently."

"Uncle, she's a person who, until a few days ago, was living in a hut filled with glasses of water. She's not sane."

"Wisdom comes from surprising places," Iroh retorted, a smug look on his face.

"I have an idea," Zuko said, walking over to the window and peering out, "and it's getting dark."

"What does darkness have to do with it?" Iroh asked.

Zuko smiled smugly. "It's a full moon tonight."


	4. To Watch For the Answers

AN: I own nothing.

Well. . . I must say I am rather depressed at the moment. . . I have had way more hits than reviews, and while I can understand that not everyone reviews stories (I'm one of those people, though I'm trying to stop being that way), I had someone favorite this story that didn't review. Reviews make me happy. Really happy. They also inspire me to write 'cause I feel like there's people out there that are mildly interested in this story. So, if you like this story, tell me! If you hate it, PLEASE tell me why. If there's somewhere I can improve, I want to know where!

Shameless begging for reviews is now over. On with the story, which I am sure you are more interested in.

Third Person POV

Zuko stood out in the courtyard, thinking this had sounded like a much better idea several hours ago.

Katara was out here, like he knew she would be, bending the water to her will. Zuko started to become entranced once more by the swirling arcs before snapping himself out of it. He needed to be observant tonight.

He watched the water. He became overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the element under her control, especially as the intricate movements became dizzying. Finally he just found a stream of water and watched it.

It streaked straight up, then down, then curved under another stream before twisting around another and then clumping together, no longer a stream, no longer an arc, but becoming more of a shapeless blob. Then it started to morph and it began to take on a shape, and Zuko was about to say what it was, it was the tip of his tongue, like a name he couldn't quite remember when Katara's face scrunched up and it joined with another blob to become another arc of water.

"Why did you stop it?" Zuko asked Katara. She didn't look up from her work and didn't acknowledge Zuko's presence, though he knew she knew that he had been there for several minutes now.

There was no answer, though Katara's face took on a confused expression.

Zuko began to watch the water again, looking for the signs. He isolated another stream of water and watched it.

It streaked to the left, then curved hard around another stream of water before flowing upward and bunching into a ball that stretched its shape until there was a different almost recognizable shape-

"There!" Zuko shouted. "It was right there!"

Katara jumped so hard at the sudden rise in volume that she lost control over the water, something Zuko hadn't seen her do since around the time she met Aang, and all of it splashed down into the fountain, overflowing the sides and creating tidal waves that washed over the side.

When she turned her sight on Zuko, her eyes were wide and frightened, and she was shaking. Zuko knew it wasn't from the cold as it was a warm night, and she was used to the frigid temperatures of the South Pole anyway.

She looked at Zuko warily, deciding how big of a threat he was, before turning and sprinting away.

Zuko mentally slapped himself. He was an idiot. Or a jerk. Or a little of both. Or even a lot of both. He was trying to help Katara and he knew that loud voices disturbed her.

Zuko decided that mentally slapping himself wasn't enough and tried to actually slap himself. He missed.

The next day, Zuko knew that this was the only chance he would have of making Katara remember. He needed to let her let the water show her what she refused to see.

He went looking for her. She had to be somewhere in the palace, right? It wasn't like she could go anywhere. . .

She wasn't in any of the hallways that Zuko had been down, much to his disappointment. He didn't like the idea of confronting her in her room because he wanted her to have at least one place in the palace where she felt comfortable. He had a feeling that this was not going to be a pleasant experience for either of them.

He knocked softly on the door, trying to keep it as quiet as possible.

"Katara?" he called carefully. There was no response. He put his ear to the door and heard snoring.

Well, that would explain why she was up all night, but that didn't help him any.

He sat down against the wall across from the door and waited for night to fall.

Hours later, Zuko was startled awake by the sound of a door opening.

Which meant he slept. Usually one did he have to sleep before they could be woken up.

Zuko only had several seconds to realize this before Katara, who had opened the door, gave him a blank glance before walking away.

"Wait! Katara!" he said, making himself keep his voice low. He forced himself not to run after her, figuring she would think she was being attacked from behind, and walked as calmly as he could down the hall after her. He caught up with her easily, being taller and therefore having longer legs, and caught himself before he put a hand on her shoulder to force her to turn around so he could talk to her. Instead he walked beside her, keeping his gaze ahead.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her give him a questioning stare before she dropped her eyes to study the floor they were walking along.

Zuko tired to keep his mind off of what he was going to have to do by focusing on the fact that he, for the first time in a long time, got more than an hour of sleep at one time.

Of course, all that really did was make absolutely sure that Zuko wasn't going to be able to sleep that night.

Great, Zuko thought. I've become nocturnal.

But now they had reached the courtyard, and Zuko needed to talk to Katara even if she wouldn't talk back. Right before they exited into the courtyard, he stepped in front of her.

"Katara, I just want you to try something," he began. "Just let the water form whatever way it wants. Just see what happens."

She refused to meet his eyes and stepped around him to walk over to the fountain and began to start her nightly ritual of bending.

Zuko settled on the bench and began to watch the water. He watched one piece of the intricate flowing sculpture until it began to grow, changing shape-

He looked up from the water to look at Katara's face. Her eyes kept darting around to different parts of the fountain, and she looked like she was in physical pain from conflict. Finally she jerked her hand rapidly, causing all the water to rearrange itself into harmless arcs and curves.

Zuko growled under his breath. She almost had it. If she just could let herself. . .

It wasn't long before the water began to take on a shape more than arcs or curves. It was so close to looking like something he could identify before-

A quiet sound interrupted the night and the water fell quickly back into the fountain. Zuko looked around furiously for whatever made the noise that had broken Katara's concentration when he realized the sound came from Katara herself. It had sounded like a soft cry of pain.

Katara was on her hands and knees before she curled up into a ball and started sobbing. Zuko got up quietly and sat down next to her.

"Katara?" he said softly. "Why don't you want to?"

She knew exactly what he meant and through her sobs said, "Because. . . because it hurts. It hurts inside."

The childlike wording and behavior was an indicator of sincere pain.

"Katara," Zuko said slowly. "I know you can remember. I know you can become who I knew you as. You were a great person. You have friends, a brother. But it's going to make you hurt. You're going to hurt inside like you do now, but I know the person you were well enough to know that you are strong enough to get through it."

Katara pulled herself up and looked Zuko in the eyes. She still let out the occasional sob, but she tried to pull herself together.

Zuko looked back at her and reached out a hand to help her to her feet.

"Do you want to remember?" Zuko asked her.

She took his hand.

"Okay, Katara, you can do this," Zuko called.

He was standing on the other side of the fountain from her and was farther away from it than she was. Even from where he was standing he could see Katara take a deep breath and position her arms in what Zuko assumed was a usual Waterbending stance.

Her arms started moving in the graceful sweeping motions that Zuko usually associated with Waterbending. It was confounding Zuko how those great big movements could create such intricate patterns but then he noticed subtle movements in her hands and fingers.

He went back to watching the water. Almost immediately his eyes found a globule of water that was beginning to take on a shape of its own.

Katara sucked in a breath but continued to stare at the water and kept her arms on the same pattern. They both stared intently at the blob of water, which was taking on more and more water from other streams until it grew in size.

It was the shape of a large animal with more than the usual number of legs. It had a large flat tail and horns. Zuko immediately recognized it as the flying bison of Aang's. What was its name. Anga? Akka? Appa, that was it. Appa.

Katara made the whole scene change. Soon it just represented people. There was a boomerang that flew into a watery hand. Sokka. A foot came down and sent a spray of watery pebbles flying up. Toph. More water came up and soon there was an arm, sending out a spray of water that looked like flames out horizontally. Zuko realized with a start that it must represent him.

Then all of the water from the fountain floated up in a great sphere of water as tall as Zuko. It stretched and elongated until it was just possible to distinguish something with wings. Zuko thought it was some kind of bug before he realized it was a glider like Airbenders used.

Another figure emerged, connecting in two places to the glider. Two arms emerged from those places and connected to a torso and the rest of a body.

Aang and his glider soared up in a slow spiral that began gaining speed. It swooped back down close to Katara, who obviously had no control of her bending at the moment. It pulled out of the dive and soared straight up.

Katara went down to her knees again. Her arms stopped moving.

The water, now shapeless, fell from a great height into the fountain with an almighty splash.


	5. Memories and Sadness

AN: I own nothing.

This chapter was originally going to be longer, but then I realized that the next part was going to take a long time to write and I wanted to post this at a decent time today, so here it is!

Third Person POV

Zuko put up a hand to his forehead to futilely protect himself from the wave of water that washed over the courtyard. In the end, he only had some droplets polka dotting his clothes. Katara was not so lucky.

Her blue clothes were plastered against her skin, and her knotted hair was stuck to the skin on her face. As Zuko jogged over to her, he heard her sobbing. It was a different kind of sobbing than before, which had been crys of physical pain, and was now the broken hearted crying of someone realizing they've lost everything.

He knelt next to her and, carefully, put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at the contact, and Zuko saw the Katara he knew and counted as a friend. She looked at Zuko, heartbroken, before she threw herself at him and cried into his shoulder.

Zuko barely maintained his balance and rocked back a little before wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

He wasn't very good at comforting words, so he just let her cry for a while before she finally pulled away.

Her face was pitiful to look at, with tears all over it and scrunched up slightly in an expression of pure sorrow. She put her back to the fountain and wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them to her chest. She stared up at the full moon, which hung in the sky like her mother's necklace. Zuko sat next to her and did the same.

"I didn't," she started, but she had to swallow a sob that threatened to interrupt her, "I didn't really expect this."

"None of us did," Zuko said.

"No, I mean-" she paused to choose her next words. "When we were traveling. It was always preparing for- for- for whatever happened at the comet. We knew either Aang would win and we would all survive, or he wouldn't and none of us would have to live beyond it. None of us would have to move on."

"But then I was watching you fight Azula," she continued. "and you almost died. I almost died. But then we had her chained up and everything was okay. And then we went to where Aang had been fighting Ozai. . ."

She took a while to compose herself.

"Then I saw Ozai chained to the ground, and everyone was happy. . . And then Sokka," she gulped, "saw me and came over, and I knew something was wrong, because Aang wasn't with him. And he- he put his arms around my shoulders and I smacked him, and told him to tell me what was going on and that he was starting to scare me, and then I saw Toph, and Suki-"

She was starting to hyperventilate.

"And they were standing around- around something and I couldn't see what it was, so I walked over and they moved and I saw-"

At that point she started sobbing again. Zuko mentally filled in what happened next.

Katara had let out a bloodcurdling shriek and immediately ran over to the fallen Avatar and attempted to heal him, despite the numerous people telling her he was already gone and that there was nothing she could do. She stayed there by his side, repeatedly running water and healing hands over him.

Finally she gave in to the sobs and stayed there, couching over the body of the world's liberator and her best friend, though Zuko would guess he meant even more to her.

They had finally had to pry her away, screaming and fighting. Things had nearly gotten out of hand when she began Waterbending frozen daggers at the people holding onto her arms. Thankfully, Sokka had grabbed a hold of her dangerously free arms while Pakku had bent the ice into harmless drops of water.

They buried Aang at the Southern Air Temple. His body was given back to the Earth that had needed him as its protector for all of his hundred and twelve years.

Katara had been there, and it had been fairly small, considering who Aang was. Sokka, Toph, Suki, Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee, Iroh, Bumi, Appa, Momo, and of course, Katara, were there. Katara didn't speak again until she screamed when they carried her out of the Fire Nation Palace to go back to the Southern Water Tribe.

The present day Katara was still curled up in a ball, crying.

"I should- I shouldn't have gone with you! I should have stayed with Aang! I could have- could have stopped him! Or healed him! But I wasn't there. . . "

Zuko noticed that she had basically just said she would rather have Zuko die than Aang, but it wasn't that unexpected.

"Katara, you couldn't have done anything. Aang took away Ozai's bending. He wasn't going to have it any other way. It drained him, Katara."

She looked at him, her face suddenly murderous.

"Your father should not have lived while Aang died."

Zuko flinched. She was right, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. That was his whole problem, wasn't it? He was the son of a murderous, sadistic, power-hungry madman, and he was never going to live that down.

Ozai didn't deserve the mercy Aang showed him. Aang didn't deserve to die. But he did anyway, his damn conscience being his downfall. Removing Ozai's bending took the last scrap of energy he had left. His body had nothing more to give. It would have saved his life just to kill the bastard.

But then he would not be Aang, and could not have done what he did: save the world.

"I know," he said finally. "We should probably go inside. You're soaking wet."

She looked down at her clothes as if she had not noticed the fact that she was soaked to the bone.

"Come on," Zuko said, and offered his hand.

She took it and together they retraced their steps back to Katara's room. Soon they were standing outside out of it.

"There should be some clothes in the drawers. If they don't fit, just get someone's attention and they'll bring more."

Katara nodded absently. Before she went in her room Zuko hugged her tightly and she hugged him back.

"Welcome back, Katara."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Katara walked into her room, fighting sobs and trying to hold herself together. All she had to do was change her clothes and then she could sleep, she told herself. Then she wouldn't have to deal with the pain right now.

She opened the top drawer to find elegant red robes in them. She frowned and, after closing that drawer, opened the next drawer which held clothing similar to the kind that she had worn while infiltration the Fire Nation. It would work for now.

Katara quickly changed into the clothes and fell on the bed. Within moments she was asleep.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Katara opened her eyes almost immediately and knew that something was off.

She had had her share of nightmares before, but this place wasn't necessarily scary just. . . weighed down. As if lots of things lived here.

The forest was green and there was a path extending in two directions around her. She could either stay where she was or pick a path, and seemed to have little control over her body, which followed one end of the path into the misty forest.

She had hardly taken two steps when she heard her name.

"Katara!" a voice called.

That voice made her freeze. It made her body stop moving, her lungs stop breathing, and it felt like her heart had stopped beating.

She turned around to face the person he had recently realized she would never see again.


	6. Make You Move Forward

AN: I own nothing.

I would like to thank Arizony. Thanks, that was possibly the nicest, most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me on FF. :D

Soundtrack for this chapter is "Call Your Name" by Daughtry, which, guess what, I don't own.

On with the story.

Third Person POV

"Katara, do you know how deaf you are?" Aang said, grinning happily. "I've been trying to get through to you for months!"

Katara stared open mouthed at the tattooed boy in front of her. He was in monk's clothes, she noticed, and was as bald as he had been the day he died.

"Katara?" he asked, now slightly worried at the lack of response from her.

She tackled him in a giant hug.

"You're a fool," she told him, as he hugged her back. "A bald, tattooed, noble, idiotic, self-sacrificing fool." She didn't notice that she was crying again.

"Shh," he said. He held her close. "It's going to be okay, Katara."

"No, it's not," she said angrily. "You're dead. That's not okay." She pulled back from him. "Wait a minute. You are dead. So why am I here?"

Aang dropped his gaze slightly guiltily. "Well. . . I really wasn't supposed to. . . You're not supposed to be in the Spirit World, but. . . I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm in the Spirit World?" Katara said.

"Yeah. . . I'm not supposed to bring, you know, _living_ people here, unless they seek guidance, but the next Avatar isn't old enough yet. But I really wanted to see you."

They were both quiet for a minute.

"Why did you do it, Aang?"

"I- I had no choice."

"Yes, you did, Aang," she said. "You could have lived. There could have been a life after the war."

"There _is_ a life after the war," Aang said, "I'm just not in it. Well, I guess my reincarnation will be, so I guess I will be too, but not in the same way."

His voice got softer. "I didn't want to hurt you, Katara, I didn't want to. I didn't know you would be so. . . distraught. . ."

"What did you think, Aang, that I would just forget about you? That's not going to happen. Ever."

He sighed. "I know that now. But I don't have much time, so can we be sad when we're not together? Please?"

"Alright," Katara said, and attempted to stop crying.

"Why couldn't I talk to you?" Aang said. "I tried everything. I tried to reach you in a dream, but you were never asleep. I tried to simply talk to you, but there was a block or something on your mind."

"I haven't really been, you know, in my right mind lately," Katara said, blushing somewhat.

"Why?" Aang asked, confused.

"Because. . . because of you."

"Oh." Aang dropped his gaze guiltily.

"But I'm better now," Katara said, trying to ease his guilt. Only Aang would feel guilty because of his own death. She laid a hand on his cheek. "And it's good to see you."

He smiled. "I missed you." He sighed, his smile gone. "But I can't do this again."

Katara felt the smile slide her face as well. "It's because of some Spirit World rule, isn't it?"

"Well, we can't have all the spirits talking with those still in the world of living," Aang explained. "Being the Avatar doesn't make me different. All the other Avatars manage okay."

"But Roku, and Kyoshi, and others, they all talked to you!" Katara protested.

"But I was them reincarnated, so really it was just another way of them talking to themselves."

Katara sighed. She hugged Aang again, and buried her face in his shoulder.

"So I won't see you after this?" she said, her voice muffled.

"No," Aang said. "Not for a long time, anyway." He paused. "You have to go," he said simply and sadly.

"No, not yet," Katara protested. "I just fell asleep, didn't I?"

"But you're already fading," he said. Katara looked down at herself. She appeared to be all there, not even a little blurry.

"I can't see anything."

"I can," Aang said. "Katara, just. . . take care of yourself, okay? For me?"

"But what if I-"

She stopped talking as he bent his head toward hers. As soon as she felt the slightest pressure on her lips from his, she was staring at the ceiling of her room in the Fire Nation Palace.

Katara curled up into a ball and cried into the still unfamiliar pillow. She realized that she had just gotten confirmation that she would never, as long as she lived, speak to Aang again.

So she cried, not only in grief, but in lament of the fact that she never got to kiss him back.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Zuko was having problems of his own. Several of these included his sister was still insane, his mother was still missing, and he still didn't know what to tell Katara's family and friends.

Well, his sister was getting the best care possible. He should probably visit her soon.

He could talk to Katara about what to do about her family and friends. It was her life, after all, and she could make her own choices now that she actually knew what her choices were. She might not want to stay in the Fire Nation at all.

His mother, on the other hand, was another story.

He had a feeling that she wasn't dead. She was out there somewhere, and he needed to find her. That was the missing part of the puzzle that was his life. He knew where the rest of his family and friends were, but his mother remained a mystery. Zuko was slowly but surely putting his life back together, but he needed to know where all the pieces were.

But where to begin? He could start with Iroh perhaps. Although if Iroh knew anything, he probably would have told Zuko by now. Then again, Iroh's mind worked in strange ways. Zuko's banishment had at least taught him that much.

There might be records, though he doubted it. He probably would have found them by now, and anyway, his mother seemed wise enough to know how to cover her tracks.

He could try speaking to Ozai again, although he didn't know why that would work any better now than it did when he had tried it directly after the War.

Then there was Azula. She had been at the Palace for longer than Zuko had been, and she might have heard a rumor, or maybe a clue that Zuko didn't. First Zuko had to get through to her, though.

Although, Katara had finally come out of her madness. Maybe Azula could too.


	7. Ideas Come

AN: I own nothing.

I have found out that writing for Avatar makes me crave potstickers. Go figure. I also found out that, apparently, I have a thing for writing insane characters. *headdesk*

I apologize for the delay in this chapter. Unfortunately I'm attempting to write multiple stories at once, most of which will not be posted on FF. Sorry, but that's the risk of the reading this story. (I know, I know, late warning, but better late than never, right?)

Well, I already have the epilogue for this written, which won't be needed for a LONG time, but at least I know where this is going, right?

Third Person POV

Iroh announced the next day at tea that he was heading back to Ba Sing Se the next day. Zuko had explained to him before Katara got up that she had been snapped out of her madness, and neither of them were surprised when Katara herself came in a few minutes later, her eyes read and puffy, but her hair brushed and wearing decent clothes.

Iroh repeated his earlier statement for Katara's benefit. She merely nodded, still inwardly grieving her loss.

"Uncle," Zuko began, "I would like your help with something before you go."

Zuko saw Iroh's eyes glance at Katara quickly. He knew his Uncle was mentally asking him if he really wanted to speak about this in front of her.

"I want to find my mother."

Both Katara and Iroh looked at him like he was the crazy one of the bunch. In Katara'a eyes, though, he saw a bit more. More like. . . pity, he thought. Or understanding. Zuko knew that she was probably reliving the way they had finally grown to trust each other once they both learned they both had lost their mothers. He knew he was.

"Zuko, your mother-"

"Went into hiding from Ozai. Don't think I don't know that. I do. But I still think she's out there and Ozai is no longer a threat."

"Zuko, your mother could be anywhere," Katara said softly. "From what I know, your mother was quite intelligent. She probably left no trail for us to follow, and it was years ago."

"She is right, Zuko."

"I know that!" Zuko said angrily. "But I have an idea! I think Azula knows where she is. I think Azula knows, and has been keeping it hidden from everyone. I'm going to speak with her this afternoon."

"Zuko, Azula is-"

"Crazy. Insane. Completely out of her mind. I know that. But I think somewhere, deep down, she knows where she is."

"Why would she know?" Katara asked.

Zuko sighed. "According to people who saw her before the comet, Azula was already showing signs of madness. People say she was talking to people that weren't there, and that she would yell at her mother." He paused. "Our mother. Whatever. But I don't think she was completely crazy quite yet, and that she might have gotten some sort of information that made her think our mother was close."

"It's a long shot, Zuko," Iroh said, gazing at Zuko sadly. "I know how you-"

"I know," Zuko said, trying desperately not to yell. "But I think she knows something, and I need to know." He paused. "So I'm going to see her this afternoon."

"Zuko, really-" Iroh began.

"I'll come," Katara said, interrupting Zuko.

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Iroh said exasperatedly. Zuko merely mentally examined this idea. On one hand, Katara was not completely mentally stable and had been a horrible enemy of Azula. There was a good chance that those two together might just blow up the mental facility.

On the other hand, he trusted Katara. She had always known how he felt about his mother, and since this may be the first step in a journey to find her, he realized that he _wanted_ her along. Plus, she had been where Azula was now, lost in her mind, trapped by memories. . . Zuko came to the conclusion that seeing Katara might be _good_ for Azula.

There was only one way to find out.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Azula is in a mental facility not far from here," Zuko explained to Katara as they walked out of the Fire Nation Palace. "We should be able to walk there."

Katara merely nodded and kept her gaze ahead. Zuko, dense though he could be, could sense something was wrong. However, he rather liked living and decided that pestering her about it would probably hinder his ability to enjoy life. So he kept his mouth shut.

Zuko kept sneaking glances at her once they were out in the countryside. The longer they traveled, the more tension seemed to build on her face. Finally he had to say something.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?" he asked.

Katara snapped her head up in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused. "I offered to come, remember?"

"You don't seem too happy about it."

"It's not that," she started. "But traveling along the countryside. . . It's just. . . It reminds me of. . ."

"I get it," Zuko said quietly. Of course. She had spent how long traveling with him? They had certainly seen a lot of the world. . .

They traveled in silence after that. Neither of them were particularly bothered by the silence, just anxious to be where they were going and dreading what would happen when they did at the same time.

And all too soon, it seemed, they were there.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Fire Lord, your sister is in a highly fragile state," the head doctor said. They were currently standing in a hallway outside Azula's room. The doctor had assured Zuko that Azula would be unable to hear their conversation and, most likely, did not care. Katara did not really seem to be listening and instead was pacing nervously up and down the hallway.

Zuko merely snorted. "My sister has been in a highly fragile state most of her life."

"Even so, she is extremely volatile. Some days she will appear extraordinarily violent, demanding to be released and attempting to Firebend-"

"Wait, did you say _attempting _to Firebend?" Zuko interrupted. The doctor looked annoyed.

"Yes, attempt. The most she has been able to do is produce small bursts of heat. No flame, no smoke, no damage to anything. But she tries. She tries desperately. Other days she is absolutely inconsolable with grief. Over what, we do not know. We try to get her to speak with us but she never even acknowledges our presence. When she is not angry or sad, she is blank and spends her time speaking in urgent conversation with no one. When this person says something, occasionally she will go into one of her angry or depressed moods and begin either screaming or sobbing."

The head doctor took in a deep breath before continuing. "Your sister is extremely disturbed, Fire Lord. We have no idea whether or not she will ever recover. Even if she does completely recover from her psychosis, there is a good chance she will suffer from swings of random depression and anger. This is a new disease that we are currently investigating in several patients including your sister, but so far we have made no progress in either curing or controlling it. We are calling it Bipolar Disease, since those suffering from it often fluctuate rapidly between moods.

"Either way, Fire Lord, your sister will be scarred for life. There is a good chance she will never be able to reintegrate into normal society, let alone that of Fire Nation Royalty."


	8. From Madness

AN: I own nothing.

I always sorta thought Azula was Bipolar. I have no idea why, but I do.

Third Person POV

Zuko silently absorbed in the news that his sister was permanently damaged. It came like a wave, not entirely unexpected, but it still hit hard.

Regardless of everything, Azula was his little sister. Sure, she had been horrible to him, but not everything was entirely her fault. In fact, if he had had a little bit more sense of self preservation, he might have not gotten tricked into that Agni Kai with his father and would never have been banished to find the Avatar. Had he never been sent to find the Avatar, he might never have sided with the Avatar and therefore remained a pawn of Ozai's just as Azula had.

Of course, there really had been nothing stopping Azula from leaving anytime she wanted. Still, Zuko could not bring himself to hate his sister completely.

Azula was hard to hate at all in her resent state, however.

She was sitting at a low table with and appeared to be in an angry discussion with someone across from her. However, there was no one there.

"I tried, Mother, I _tried,_" she screamed angrily.

"Auzla," Zuko said calmly. Azula looked up, startled. Then her face split into a wide, mocking smile.

"Hello, brother," she said in her normal tone. Zuko sat across the corner from her.

"Azula," Zuko repeated, not entirely sure where to begin. "Er, how are you?"

"ZuZu, I'm locked up. How do you think I am?" Her face fell into a contemplative expression. "Hm, now why would you be here? Is your conscience finally getting to you, ZuZu? Or is there something you need from me?"

"Fine. I need you to tell me what you know about Mother."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Katara wandered through the hallways of the mental institution aimlessly. She looked at the other patients, but never stared for very long. Their eyes were haunting, some dead, some angry, some horrible sad.

It chilled her to think that several days ago she had been like that. Lost in her mind. She was scared more than she would admit.

If it could happen to her once, it could happen again. And the next time, she might not be able to come back. What had Aang said? He was breaking rules by talking to her and showing her the pictures in the water? If so, he probably wouldn't be able to do it again should the need arise. . .

No. Stop thinking about it. She was stronger. She could handle what life threw at her.

_But you couldln't,_ a voice in the back of her head whispered. _What makes you think you're any different now?_

Katara tried to shake off those thoughts. She needed to get out of here. Where was Azula's room? Oh yeah, there it was. . .

The door was slightly ajar so she went in without knocking. Zuko looked up calmly at her arrival and merely motioned for her to sit down in a spare chair.

Azula had a completely different reaction.

"_You_!" she shrieked. "It's all your fault! It's all your fault!" She was on her feet, pointing an angry finger at Katara.

Katara stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide, her brain trying to process this sudden change in demeanor and volume.

Zuko was on his feet as well.

"Azula," he said calmly. Katara was surprised. This seemed like a situation in which the Fire Lord would definitely have raised his voice. "What could she have possibly done to you?"

"Everything," Azula said, her voice no longer a scream. Instead it was deadly quiet and furious. "She's the reason why I'm here. She's the reason why they think I'm crazy. Because I see Mother. But I'm not crazy!" Her voice was beginning to raise.

"If anyone should be blaming anyone, I should be blaming you!" Katara said, ignorant of how ridiculous it sounded. "You almost killed Aang!" Her voice was rising to match Azula's.

"YOU CHAINED ME TO THE GROUND!" Azula screamed.

"YOU PROBABLY GOT AANG KILLED!" Katara shrieked.

"Katara, Azula, calm down-" Zuko said, anxiously.

"YOUR BOYFIREND PRACTCIALLY KILLED HIMSELF!"

"I COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM!" Katara yelled, desperately wanting it to be true. "IF YOU HADN'T- HADN'T TRIED TO KILL YOU BROTHER I COULD HAVE-"

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE SINGLE THING AND YOU KNOW IT!" Azula shouted. "YOUR BOYFRIEND DIDN'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO LIVE!"

"Really now-" Zuko started.

Katara let out a wordless screech and flung herself at Azula, water from flower vases and glasses of all the patients in the institution cresting into a wave above her-

"ENOUGH!" Zuko finally yelled, angrily sending a large burst of fire above Katara's head and causing the water to immediately turn to water vapor and effectively rain down in droplets over all three of them.

They all stood there, dripping slightly. Katara and Azula were breathing hard and Zuko had a feeling that if someone didn't do something they would probably forego bending altogether and go for the ancient art of slap fighting which Zuko didn't particularly want to get in the middle of.

Fortunately for Zuko, the head doctor burst in right about then.

_Of course,_ Zuko thought cynically. _Right after you've determined that there was no actual danger. . . _

"Everything okay in here?" the doctor asked nervously.

"We're just leaving," Zuko said, grabbing Katara under the elbow, both to lead her out and to support her. She appeared so shaken that walking was a challenge.

"No!" Azula said frantically. "You have to believe me! I found her! I found Mother! I see her all the time!"

Her eyes were so desperate that Zuko almost believed her.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Are you okay?" Zuko asked Katara once they had been walking for a while.

"Not really," she replied, so quietly Zuko barely heard her.

"Azula is insane, you know. Nothing she said means anything. It's not true."

"How could you say that?" Katara said in the same soft tone. "So was I, up until not too long ago. You still believed what I said."

Zuko sighed. "Katara, I knew Aang, Maybe not as well as you, but he was probably one of the best and closest friends I ever had. He was more actually. He was a brother, a comrade. And he could never have killed Ozai so that he could be with you, because then he wouldn't have been Aang. There was just some key element of Aang that wouldn't let him kill anyone. It went past just him being a monk, I think. It was just Aang."

Katara was silent for a while. Then finally she said: "What happened to Appa and Momo?"

Zuko looked at her in surprise. "I think they stayed at the Southern Air Temple. Why?"

"Just thinking."


End file.
